This morning I woke up with my sleep mask half-way off of my face, hair knotted in a half-slung messy bun, and the covers contorted, hanging off of my bed. Sounds a bit rough, doesn’t it? Actually, it wasn’t rough at all. Despite the aesthetic I used to describe my morning wake up, when I put rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and placed my feet on the floor, I felt an energy course throughout my body that I hadn’t felt in quite some time: I felt good.
I made my way downstairs to prepare a breakfast, responding as best I could to my body’s intuitive cues (which of course included a piping hot mug of coffee + nut milk). I powered up my MacBook and opened a Safari tab to YouTube, deciding that I would begin my day with watching a vlog created by an empowering, inspirational young woman: Jen Brett. To be honest, I attribute part of my feel-good attitude today to her insightful, wise words she shares with her followers. For those of you struggling with an unhealthy relationship with food, your body, or exercise, I highly recommend you check out her vlog (Jen Brett) and her Instagram account (Jen Bretty). She’s truly incredible.
After watching a few vlogs, I scanned my emails and made a few phone calls to prepare for the busy day ahead. Right before I was about to do my morning yoga practice, I received a phone call from my manager regarding my summer job, notifying me that I will be starting tomorrow. I nearly jumped for joy at this news–I’m finally reintegrating into reality–my life–again, and I couldn’t be happier! With a positive mindset, newly cultivated insight, and a brighter outlook on my life, I feel more confident, capable, and motivated. And boy, is it a wonderful feeling.
Once I finished getting ready for the day, I took a moment to look at my reflection in the mirror. Not only was I feeling body-positive (very rare these days, therefore always appreciated when I feel this way!), but I decided to push myself out of my comfort zone a bit, opting to wear a crop top. I know that may sound insignificant, but to me, this is a huge step. I would always tuck my crop tops in the bottom of my dresser drawer, reserving them for only “better body image days.” I decided that I was going to wear one today with a new air of confidence–whether I felt comfortable or not–rather than categorzing a certain article of clothing for a “better” time. As I peered back at my reflection in the mirror, I couldn’t help but smile, saying to myself: I’m ready to move through today with an energy of love, positivity, and confidence.
When I experience positive, feel-good days such as today, I feel more motivated, capable, and confident in myself. I feel guided by the Universe, reassured that I’m on the right path for my personal journey toward recovery, healing, and overall wellness. However, I also know that I can’t expect every day to be a positive, feel-good day. In all honesty, the past few days haven’t been the best, so waking up with this positive energy coursing through my body was both refreshing and relieving–as though a brighter, hopeful light had been cultivated deep within myself. While not every day will be positive, there are still positives to be found in every day–even in the tiniest, smallest of spaces. We may have to squint and strain our eyes, but there is always something in each day that we can be grateful for. We just need to put forth the effort to tap into our intuitive selves to reach that place of gratitude.
As I sit here in writing this post, I notice that my mind is drifting toward the fear that I won’t experience this feel-good positivity tomorrow, the next day, or next week. I can’t help but question myself: Why am I wasting today’s positive energy worrying about how I will feel tomorrow? If I’m feeling positive today, why not allow myself to dwell completely in that positive energy? Who’s to say that I don’t deserve to feel good, to exude positivity and confidence? I’m not allowing myself to talk myself out of experiencing a feel-good day; I’ve cheated myself out of these days for far too long, far too often.
Today, I’m choosing to exude an air of confidence and capability in myself; I’m choosing to allow myself time to practice self-care and self-compassion; Today, I’m choosing to dwell in this positive energy rather than dwell in the idea of it being short-lived.
And guess what? It feels good.